I wish my penis had an off switch
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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