we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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