i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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