Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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