so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
