you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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