none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
