so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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