he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize