the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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