Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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