The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
