i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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