So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize