You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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