yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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