Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I love you.
Bad choice
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