textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
