The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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