He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
