please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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