hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
