jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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