I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
