I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
