I cannot find my penis.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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