You just made me feel so damn special
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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