i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
