can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
