I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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