It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
