But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
