Define "chronic" masturbator.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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