If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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