the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize