i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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