I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
