I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize