shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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