glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
