if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
