Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
where are my eyebrows?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize