One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize