This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
