are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
