I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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