highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
