i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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