Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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