Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
