Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
