im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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