Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
