Are we in a gay sports bar?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
