guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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