Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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