quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.