one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!