Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Whiskey dick.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Everyday of my life.

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  (417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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  (412): Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline? http://tfl.nu/g8m6
  Replies (45) Good night (1570) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.

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  (402): Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie. http://tfl.nu/vbht
  Replies (15) Good night (2192) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

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  (914): he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3 http://tfl.nu/cutl
  Replies (32) Good night (5436) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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  (440): Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing. http://tfl.nu/eukd
  Replies (36) Good night (1382) Bad night (3466)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.

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  (605): I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us. http://tfl.nu/gkw5
  Replies (7) Good night (3109) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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  (816): Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples. http://tfl.nu/my8g
  Replies (5) Good night (2190) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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  (408): sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here. http://tfl.nu/d4g6
  Replies (17) Good night (2454) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.

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  (660): It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope. http://tfl.nu/g3x7
  Replies (7) Good night (1226) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..

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  (609): i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you.. http://tfl.nu/9nik
  Replies (11) Good night (1891) Bad night (1818)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka

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  (281): you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka http://tfl.nu/l68b
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?

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  (774): I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do? http://tfl.nu/dozv
  Replies (16) Good night (642) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  YOU DID WHAT???

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  (617): Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college. (1-617): YOU DID WHAT??? http://tfl.nu/p7q7
  Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

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  (434): Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/qpk5
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.

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  (727): Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend. http://tfl.nu/jlre
  Replies (9) Good night (1023) Bad night (437)

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