I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
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he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.