I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.