The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
