Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1636) Bad night (3516)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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  (615): I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting. http://tfl.nu/31wc
  Replies (14) Good night (5907) Bad night (1365)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?

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  (301): Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick? http://tfl.nu/d7bm
  Replies (6) Good night (2708) Bad night (896)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

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  (952): On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it http://tfl.nu/wltj
  Replies (6) Good night (2746) Bad night (920)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"

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  (215): "The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match" http://tfl.nu/jczj
  Replies (11) Good night (1963) Bad night (1078)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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  (425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv
  Replies (2) Good night (2407) Bad night (753)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2936) Bad night (659)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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  (770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb
  Replies (17) Good night (1753) Bad night (831)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

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  (978): just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins. http://tfl.nu/d5im
  Replies (4) Good night (1200) Bad night (534)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.

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  (803): Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class. http://tfl.nu/uw6v
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (1269)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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  (614): It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me http://tfl.nu/sahk
  Replies (19) Good night (1848) Bad night (504)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.

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  (905): Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward. http://tfl.nu/zy4k
  Replies (6) Good night (1686) Bad night (397)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care

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  (918): I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care http://tfl.nu/shwc
  Replies (1) Good night (1347) Bad night (340)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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  (724): You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures. http://tfl.nu/2cky
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (312)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?

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  (508): We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to? http://tfl.nu/ka6a
  Replies (2) Good night (291) Bad night (404)

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