I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
