im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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