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i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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