No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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