I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
