apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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