i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
