You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
