this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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