An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
