life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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