Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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