I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
