she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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