Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Can I color on your dick again?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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