If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
